


Bury me, beneath the pine, in the shallow soil, in the filth and Grime

by this_wicked_love



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crazy Shane Walsh, Happy Rick/Negan mentions, I'm going to hell and so is Shane, Jealous Shane, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rick never found Carl and Lori and is one of the Saviors, Sexual Assault, Shane is the leader of Alexandria, i don't know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-13 12:03:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10513401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_wicked_love/pseuds/this_wicked_love
Summary: Shane reached out, trembling fingers brushing against the stubble of Rick’s face, his chest filling with emotion while his breath caught in his throat.He still loved him.God, he still loved him so much. He needed Rick to feel it back, to hear him say it, to feel it just once..He needed to feel him.





	

Shane stared at Rick, at the dried blood matted in his hair. That fall had been nasty. They’d been surrounded by geeks, - or _**walkers**_ , as Rick liked to call them - when Rick got the idea for them to jump. Shane had stuck the landing, but a geek grabbed Rick’s leg, making him jump awkwardly to the side, planting a bullet in its head while Rick had landed on his, a gash now sitting prettily on the edge of his hairline. He was unconscious, but breathing. His chest rising and falling steadily, soft puffs of air sounding from his nose.

Shane’s hands were dying to touch. To feel Rick beneath his fingertips. To feel his flesh, warm and soft and **_alive_**.

An opportunity presented itself with the chain around Rick’s neck that’d gotten tangled up in the lapel of his jacket, Shane jumping at the excuse to satisfy his urge, quickly sorting it out, his fingers brushing purposely against the warmth of Rick’s neck.

Shane tried not to look at it. The sight of it made him sick to his stomach. The silver chain home to a ring. A wedding ring. Different from the one Rick had received from Lori. And just another reminder that Rick wasn’t and never would be his.

Shane felt his body tense, his hand itching to reach out and rip the damn thing from Rick’s neck. It wasn’t fair. He’d waited so long..

He’d loved Rick his whole life. Since they were just two shithead teenagers with their heads up their asses. He loved Rick through it all. As time went on it only got stronger. When Lori wanted him, offered him everything she had to give, he refused. He could never see anyone, could never love anyone the way he did Rick.

Rick never noticed though. Never caught on. Never saw the way Shane looked at him. The way he devoted himself to him. The way he couldn’t stand being apart. He’d fought so hard for them to be partners, the only time he could get Rick all to himself.

Rick always told him he ought to settle down and start a family of his own. And Shane would laugh to keep from crying because he wanted a family, but with Rick. Only Rick.

Now here Rick was, back from the dead. And still, he managed to belong to somebody else.

Shane shook his head.

_Negan_

That sick son of a bitch _stole_ Rick from him.

His entire life he’d consoled himself with hopes and daydreams of ‘if only’. If only Rick swinged that way, if only he could see Shane in that light, they would be together. Rick would finally, finally, be his..

Now that dream was shattered.

Turns out, Rick could love a man. And he could love him a whole fucking lot.

It made him want to cut his own heart out of his goddamn chest to see the two of them together. Negan hanging all over Rick every chance he got and Rick eating it up. They were like magnets, mirroring each other's movements, never straying too far from the other. Shane couldn’t say how many times he’d fantasized about holding Rick the way Negan did so effortlessly, to have Rick lean into him, look at him, the way he did Negan.

It was painfully obvious that whatever happened to Rick while he was with the Saviours bonded the two in a way they couldn’t come back from, that no one else could touch. They were fucking inseparable.

Shane looked down at Rick, the unconscious man’s face calm and peaceful, Shane recognizing it for the first time since they’d reunited. Whatever his life had been the past two years, it’d made Rick hard. Cold. He was a completely different person from the man Shane knew in the old world, from the man he’d loved.

Shane reached out, trembling fingers brushing against the stubble of Rick’s face, his chest filling with emotion while his breath caught in his throat.

He still loved him.

God, he still loved him _so much_. He _needed_ Rick to feel it back, to hear him say it, to feel it just once..

He needed to feel _him_.

Shane crawled on top of him, his heart racing in his chest and heat pooling in his groin. He pressed himself to Rick’s body, rubbing himself against it, Rick jerking with his motions. He breathed out shakily, taking hold of Rick’s face with his free hand, touching their foreheads together.

Shane panted, rutting against Rick’s body desperately, letting go of Rick’s face and tucking his own into Rick’s neck when it fell to the side awkwardly, inhaling the earthy scent he found there with fervor, reaching down to run his hand up Rick’s shirt, touching him.

He was cold against Shane’s heated palm, making Shane shiver, his movements becoming more aggressive, the friction creating heat between them. He reached for Rick’s hand, pressing it against his cheek, savoring the feeling, his cock twitching painfully in his jeans. He took Rick’s face again, pressing his lips needily against Rick’s soft, unresponsive ones.

Shane sobbed into the sinful kiss that was nothing like he’d ever pictured it would be. It was wrong, stolen, tainted by the evilness of what he was doing.

Words like ‘ _assault_ ’ and ‘ _rape_ ’ rang through his head from another world, a world he didn’t know or belong to anymore, a world where he was a better man and would’ve killed anybody who would do something like this to Rick.

But here, in this world, he couldn’t stop. His movements only got more desperate, more erratic. He kissed Rick with a heat he didn’t know he possessed; borrowed from the hellfire he deserved to burn in for what he was doing.

The knowledge that it was wrong only encouraged him. Part of him wishing Rick would wake up; either to join in, or beat him to death. Hell, maybe even beat him, drag him back to camp, tell Negan, and let that psycho take the bat to him.

It didn’t matter. Shane wanted to die.

Maybe he’d deserved Rick once, when he was that other man, from the other world. But he wasn’t that man anymore. He wasn’t a man at all. He was a monster. A monster that was raping the man he loved, and enjoying it.

He didn’t want to be in this world anymore.

Finally Shane could feel himself getting close, his hips crashing against Rick’s body so hard he could hear the skips in Rick’s breathing. He kissed Rick deeply, his tongue forcing its way in, and Shane was gone, shooting his load all over himself, not caring about the mess. Instead, he focused on Rick’s body that lie still beneath him.

When he was finished, he felt empty. There was no high, no buzzing in his head. Only the hollow feeling in his chest that hadn’t left him since he’d left Rick in that hospital room.

Rolling off of Rick, he lied down beside him, his heart squeezing at the space separating them. He yearned to reach for Rick’s hand, to hold it just once.

He didn’t. He would never touch Rick again. Not at all.

He didn’t deserve to. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, honestly I have nothing to say for myself..
> 
> Might become a series of oneshots, not sure..probably not.
> 
> Leave a comment! xx


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